The evening was long
My guesses were true
You saw me see you
That something you said
The timing was right
The pleasure was mine
The time and the place
The look on your face
Sincerest eyes
If you're ready or not
The state of our hearts
There's no time to take
you were beautiful
so beautiful it was almost magical
your sking glistened with luminescent beads of sweat from the summer sun and from that moment on i knew id never forget you
like a magnet you attracted me.
I watched each sylable reluctantly fall from your soft lips bc even they still wanted to be inside of you
Your own words didnt want to ever leave you
the way you captivated the audience with you charisma reminded me of the tide to the moon
You swooned me with the brittle ballad of our kindred heart break
from the start we both had broken hearts
the timing could not have been more right
and you could not have been more of a stranger yet i saw no danger in your eyes
though the bond between you and I will last forever
The stint of time of our prescence in time would begin and end in one night
We took off into space
Danced among the stars
till the moon was ours
YOu looked me in the eyes
then held me so tight
feeling was right
We were caught by the light
Held on the day
'Till it became hours
The minutes went by
The cab is outside
There's no time to take
your locks swayed to the beat of my body
my scars told you stories of lessons learned
with my hands i rubbed the pain from your sore heart
while your lips spoke bittersweet peace into my lonliness
you held my hand wanting this moment to last forever
and although the only thing between our skin was the fabric of time
fate had other plans for us
see just for one night, we were both healed
just for one night i was the woman of your dreams
and you were my queen
those moments were just a small glimpse of heaven
but we both knew that at a quarter to 2 your plane would be departing
and along with your luggage you would be taking my serenity
until you came back to me
or at least back to dc
when you'd feature again
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I Have AIDS: A Conciet (an extended metaphor)
you entered my life through pleasure
undetected bc i was unprotected
foolish and in the bliss of the moment
you then attach yourself to my t cells
my immune system
the people that are there heal me
and keep me healthy
you attach to them
insert yourself in them
and then
reprogram them
to wreak havoc on my body and my mind
until you are in control of all my defenses
and its visible in my physical that i was attacked from within
and all my t cells now produce more of your destruction
and i have noone to blame but myself
and there is no cure
undetected bc i was unprotected
foolish and in the bliss of the moment
you then attach yourself to my t cells
my immune system
the people that are there heal me
and keep me healthy
you attach to them
insert yourself in them
and then
reprogram them
to wreak havoc on my body and my mind
until you are in control of all my defenses
and its visible in my physical that i was attacked from within
and all my t cells now produce more of your destruction
and i have noone to blame but myself
and there is no cure
There is No Modern Romance
Many people know
that many of my "friends"
have been shitty friends indeed
i already dnt have the biggest fan club
and this note sure wont make it any better
and the funny thing is, although this note isnt directed to one friend in particular
it kinda is
but it kinda isnt
oh well fuck the technicalities
im just gonna speak from my core.
if you take offense to it
then it was meant for you to.
if it doesnt offend you
then you werent one of the people im talking about
To start
you have unmistakenly woven yourself
into the very fabric of my existence
or more like a bed bug
a colony of bed bugs
in my mattress
my bed pad
my fitted sheet
covers
pillows
dust ruffle
all that shit lol
and so now,
i have to burn my whole damn bed
fuck
but they said, if you lay down with dogs
or bitches in this case
you wake up with fleas
next
i knew you would always be there
but this is dispicable
and i and so many others are dissapointed in you
but i know
you dont give a fuck
so throw away our friendship bond and understanding
please
i always told you i would NEVER make you choose
and thats bc i didnt think i would have to
if i was to ever see him on the street
i would look at him with disgust
bc of the ways he hurt you
and bc i love you
but to take him in
and become his best friend
chill with him on the regular
call him and never call you
when for years i talked shit about how horrible he was to you
would be...
disrespectful
but everyone doesnt think like me
but ive come to terms that everything in my past life has bed bugs
and i cant sleep there if i dnt wanna be in pain the next morning
so like i said
i wont make u choose
i hope u find happiness
hug me wen u see me
and keep it moving
and keep each other
next
i find it so funny that that you all come and go
in and out of my life
when it conviencences you
I AM NOT A BACK UP FRIEND
I AM NOT A BACK UP FRIEND
I AM NOT A BACK UP FRIEND
dont run to me bc friendships
that i told you from the beginning were parasitic
and false
turn to shit
lol its crazy to see how many text i get from you now
how my phone rings now
but like i never have,
i wont hold anything against you
but wen yall are good again
and you fade again
make sure your gone for good
bc that hurts me
esp when im ALWAYS there for you
supporting your dreams
being the voice of reason in your life
financing your adventures
even wen i cant finance my own
remember...
next
you dissapeared like it was nothing
so much so to the point where you prob wont read this
and although i said i didnt give a fuck to others
i did
and i miss you
but i guess i didnt fit into your new lifestyle
with your plastic friends
with superficial concerns
so fuck it.
next
i hope drugs havent made me paranoid
but im clearly a laughing stock to the 2 of you
anything different from he norm
is a joke to you
and i felt like you laughed at me and not with me the whole time
i dont live the same way you do
my exterior does not define me
and material things are not my life
so u asked how do i dissapear the way i do...
bc i dnt like to feel like im a fucking joke
i have more to say,
but i wont
ill leave it alone
im only tagging people,
so that the people who need to see it will
so if ur tagged
it more than likely has nothing to do with you....
but you have heard me talk about this before
that many of my "friends"
have been shitty friends indeed
i already dnt have the biggest fan club
and this note sure wont make it any better
and the funny thing is, although this note isnt directed to one friend in particular
it kinda is
but it kinda isnt
oh well fuck the technicalities
im just gonna speak from my core.
if you take offense to it
then it was meant for you to.
if it doesnt offend you
then you werent one of the people im talking about
To start
you have unmistakenly woven yourself
into the very fabric of my existence
or more like a bed bug
a colony of bed bugs
in my mattress
my bed pad
my fitted sheet
covers
pillows
dust ruffle
all that shit lol
and so now,
i have to burn my whole damn bed
fuck
but they said, if you lay down with dogs
or bitches in this case
you wake up with fleas
next
i knew you would always be there
but this is dispicable
and i and so many others are dissapointed in you
but i know
you dont give a fuck
so throw away our friendship bond and understanding
please
i always told you i would NEVER make you choose
and thats bc i didnt think i would have to
if i was to ever see him on the street
i would look at him with disgust
bc of the ways he hurt you
and bc i love you
but to take him in
and become his best friend
chill with him on the regular
call him and never call you
when for years i talked shit about how horrible he was to you
would be...
disrespectful
but everyone doesnt think like me
but ive come to terms that everything in my past life has bed bugs
and i cant sleep there if i dnt wanna be in pain the next morning
so like i said
i wont make u choose
i hope u find happiness
hug me wen u see me
and keep it moving
and keep each other
next
i find it so funny that that you all come and go
in and out of my life
when it conviencences you
I AM NOT A BACK UP FRIEND
I AM NOT A BACK UP FRIEND
I AM NOT A BACK UP FRIEND
dont run to me bc friendships
that i told you from the beginning were parasitic
and false
turn to shit
lol its crazy to see how many text i get from you now
how my phone rings now
but like i never have,
i wont hold anything against you
but wen yall are good again
and you fade again
make sure your gone for good
bc that hurts me
esp when im ALWAYS there for you
supporting your dreams
being the voice of reason in your life
financing your adventures
even wen i cant finance my own
remember...
next
you dissapeared like it was nothing
so much so to the point where you prob wont read this
and although i said i didnt give a fuck to others
i did
and i miss you
but i guess i didnt fit into your new lifestyle
with your plastic friends
with superficial concerns
so fuck it.
next
i hope drugs havent made me paranoid
but im clearly a laughing stock to the 2 of you
anything different from he norm
is a joke to you
and i felt like you laughed at me and not with me the whole time
i dont live the same way you do
my exterior does not define me
and material things are not my life
so u asked how do i dissapear the way i do...
bc i dnt like to feel like im a fucking joke
i have more to say,
but i wont
ill leave it alone
im only tagging people,
so that the people who need to see it will
so if ur tagged
it more than likely has nothing to do with you....
but you have heard me talk about this before
Slicing the Fabric of Time
listen to this while you read:
http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic19/music/wR3lI6oZ/mirah-exactly-where-were-from/
This isnt permanent
Life is all too transient
and I am happy
people are at best seasonal
which is good considering my soul likes this weather
i listen to love songs
bc i love songs
and i feel every word
bc i know
my love will come
so i wait patiently
patient like im at Rhode Island Ave Station
in the best weather
with the sweetest breeze
waiting for the last train
bc i know it will come
so until then, i talk to the people around me
observe the people on the streets
busying themselves with endless task
watching the other trains open close
come and go
and i'll be at peace
" I like it soft
i like it wet
i like my makeup in a mess
so i cry hard
let it fall
and i wont stop until my tears are all shed
SO HAPPY
SO HAPPY
SO HAPPY"
--lykke li "Let it Fall"
19 pounds lighter
and free from expectations
demands
and therefore dissapointment
i realized that i can shed my skin
and that skin is in the form of people
so many people
i love from a distance
bc they are miserable
i aint the type of company they should keep
cause i'll be too easy and breezy
to truly give a fuck
and thats the truth,
but i digress...
Since I originally deactivated my facebook
my motto has been
self discovery through introspection
and this summer will be a journey indeed
4 wheels and 1 motor
good friends and good weed
writing reading and thinking
slicing the fabric of time and making a dress of it
http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic19/music/wR3lI6oZ/mirah-exactly-where-were-from/
This isnt permanent
Life is all too transient
and I am happy
people are at best seasonal
which is good considering my soul likes this weather
i listen to love songs
bc i love songs
and i feel every word
bc i know
my love will come
so i wait patiently
patient like im at Rhode Island Ave Station
in the best weather
with the sweetest breeze
waiting for the last train
bc i know it will come
so until then, i talk to the people around me
observe the people on the streets
busying themselves with endless task
watching the other trains open close
come and go
and i'll be at peace
" I like it soft
i like it wet
i like my makeup in a mess
so i cry hard
let it fall
and i wont stop until my tears are all shed
SO HAPPY
SO HAPPY
SO HAPPY"
--lykke li "Let it Fall"
19 pounds lighter
and free from expectations
demands
and therefore dissapointment
i realized that i can shed my skin
and that skin is in the form of people
so many people
i love from a distance
bc they are miserable
i aint the type of company they should keep
cause i'll be too easy and breezy
to truly give a fuck
and thats the truth,
but i digress...
Since I originally deactivated my facebook
my motto has been
self discovery through introspection
and this summer will be a journey indeed
4 wheels and 1 motor
good friends and good weed
writing reading and thinking
slicing the fabric of time and making a dress of it
Porcelain Fairy Tales
Listen to Porcelain by Red Hot Chili Peppers when reading this...
http://www.imeem.com/people/DJGLuHv/video/lVqVG0MG/fullmetal-alchemist-porcelain-mmv-animation-video/
So those who know me well know that I have been going through a really extremely tough time in my life.
and one of my teachers reccomended that I go to the counseling center.
What most people realize is that talking to a therapist is not about them telling you how to fix your problems, but to allow you to speak your problems aloud, and most times you come to your own realizations and your own fixes.
So today once I left there are some things i realized....
I live in a fairy tale world in my mind
I think I'm supposed to have these perfect friendships
and family members
and relationships
but...
it aint gonna happen
I always knew that wat prevented me from becoming a statistic
was my love for books
i always read and read until i fell asleep as a child
and yet that hindered me
because I thought life was supposed to be that way
that no matter what turmoil you went through, there would be a beautiful and happy ending
but its not that way.
Friends fuck your girlfriends.
Moms hate their children.
Girlfriends use you.
Friends turn their backs on you.
People talk about you.
Girlfriends Cheat.
You get excluded.
I'm not experincing any extraordinary amount of unhappiness or misfortune
I'm experiencing life
bc its not a fairy tale.
Now dont get this wrong...
I'm not at all sad, or depressed
I'm actually happy
and I realized that these are things we all have to deal with
and that i need to suck it and realize
their aint no such thing as a fairytale
I'm just glad that I can be the knight in shining armor for some one
that I can be their letter to Hogwarts
or their Genie in a bottle.
maybe me thinking I live in a fairy tale world has taught me to
be a loyal friend
and to be a faithful girl friend
and although there are not many people with good hearts
those of us who do hurt worse,
bc we live in the fairy tale world.
And Maybe, Just maybe, if everyone lived in a fairy tale,
we'd all treat each other better.
I will continue to read my books.
I will continue to be one of the few people I know who have betrayed someone I loved,
I will continue to be siully and trust every person I meet.
i will continue to love completely and fully
&&
I will continue to be hurt by those of you who dont live in my world.
I know I dont live in a Fairy Tale
but
living in a fairly tale makes the good times seem like my happy ending is always near.
Porcelain-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
http://www.imeem.com/people/DJGLuHv/video/lVqVG0MG/fullmetal-alchemist-porcelain-mmv-animation-video/
So those who know me well know that I have been going through a really extremely tough time in my life.
and one of my teachers reccomended that I go to the counseling center.
What most people realize is that talking to a therapist is not about them telling you how to fix your problems, but to allow you to speak your problems aloud, and most times you come to your own realizations and your own fixes.
So today once I left there are some things i realized....
I live in a fairy tale world in my mind
I think I'm supposed to have these perfect friendships
and family members
and relationships
but...
it aint gonna happen
I always knew that wat prevented me from becoming a statistic
was my love for books
i always read and read until i fell asleep as a child
and yet that hindered me
because I thought life was supposed to be that way
that no matter what turmoil you went through, there would be a beautiful and happy ending
but its not that way.
Friends fuck your girlfriends.
Moms hate their children.
Girlfriends use you.
Friends turn their backs on you.
People talk about you.
Girlfriends Cheat.
You get excluded.
I'm not experincing any extraordinary amount of unhappiness or misfortune
I'm experiencing life
bc its not a fairy tale.
Now dont get this wrong...
I'm not at all sad, or depressed
I'm actually happy
and I realized that these are things we all have to deal with
and that i need to suck it and realize
their aint no such thing as a fairytale
I'm just glad that I can be the knight in shining armor for some one
that I can be their letter to Hogwarts
or their Genie in a bottle.
maybe me thinking I live in a fairy tale world has taught me to
be a loyal friend
and to be a faithful girl friend
and although there are not many people with good hearts
those of us who do hurt worse,
bc we live in the fairy tale world.
And Maybe, Just maybe, if everyone lived in a fairy tale,
we'd all treat each other better.
I will continue to read my books.
I will continue to be one of the few people I know who have betrayed someone I loved,
I will continue to be siully and trust every person I meet.
i will continue to love completely and fully
&&
I will continue to be hurt by those of you who dont live in my world.
I know I dont live in a Fairy Tale
but
living in a fairly tale makes the good times seem like my happy ending is always near.
Porcelain-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
A quickie
Haiku
Dirty dancing
Vegas Flashing Lights
Cardboard Breaking wont bring you back.
Theres no place I'd rather be
Just breathe
Ana nalick said
just breathe
and i litterally felt a weight lift off of me
the bitter win stole my tears
and I let her take them.
I feel free.
Complete
Filled with holes
and those holes will be filled with the lessons I have yet to learn
in the big apple.
You
Your still a whisper on my lips
feel it in my finger tips
pouring out of my skin.
I've let your hand go
not to wave goodby
but to say see ya later
cause we've taken time to realize.
that we must walk around the circle
in opposite directions
to meet back at the place
on the fountains
where a dollar bought petals of happiness.
She'll show me my way
and
They'll show you yours.
Dirty dancing
Vegas Flashing Lights
Cardboard Breaking wont bring you back.
Theres no place I'd rather be
Just breathe
Ana nalick said
just breathe
and i litterally felt a weight lift off of me
the bitter win stole my tears
and I let her take them.
I feel free.
Complete
Filled with holes
and those holes will be filled with the lessons I have yet to learn
in the big apple.
You
Your still a whisper on my lips
feel it in my finger tips
pouring out of my skin.
I've let your hand go
not to wave goodby
but to say see ya later
cause we've taken time to realize.
that we must walk around the circle
in opposite directions
to meet back at the place
on the fountains
where a dollar bought petals of happiness.
She'll show me my way
and
They'll show you yours.
I cried for us today, I cried for our freedom.
Ok so background on the situation before I start this... whatever it turns out to be...
So the young lady I am courting is a wonderful photographer and she did a photographic coverage of the Sean Bell Verdict in Queens, NY. So many of the pictures are moving and capture the raw emotion of all the people this case touched. The last picture of this series is a young black member of the New Black Panther Party leading a chant before a group of protestors. This picture led to me and the person I was on the phone with researching the New Black Panther Party which led to a hidden treasure land of militant intelligent black people. Then while being overwhelmed by this site, BET was showing X, the Malcolm X movie. All these emotions combined led to me in tears, having an extremely wonderful conversation with my suitemates and then to this "blog"....
The first scene of the movie X that was on when I turned on the TV was where he was looking up the definition of "black". this is what it still says to this day:
1 a: of the color black
2 a: having dark skin, hair, and eyes
3: dressed in black
4: dirty , soiled
5 a: characterized by the absence of light
6 a: thoroughly sinister or evil
7: connected with or invoking the supernatural and especially the devil
8 a: very sad, gloomy, or calamitous
9: characterized by hostility or angry discontent
the definition of white says:
1 a: free from color
2 a: being a member of a group or race characterized by light pigmentation of the skin: marked by upright fairness (that's mighty white of you)
3: free from spot or blemish: as a (1): free from moral impurity : innocent
I then looked around my dorm room and nearly every image i saw, from the posters to the cereal boxes, were all covered with white person after white person. From day one we are always taught the the opposite of who we are and what we are is what beatiful is. That our skin, our hair, our noses, lips, and bodies are all ugly. We are constantly bombarded with images of people in successful positions that look different from us And that success for us is Flavor Flav or Soulja Boi. Those should not be our greatest asperations. We should look at these people and shake our heads in shame...
Although I have nothing against the individual white people I know, I would much rather be in a college amongst people that look like me, experienced the same ordeals as I, and that was set up by people who died for me to recieve a top notch education. This was the goal of HBCU's but as we all know, the mental slavery that we are held captive under has made individuals in the past squander the oppurtunities and spit on the intentions and goals of the people who felt that we shouldnt have to get a white education to have a good education.
The goal of Howard was to be the Harvard of African American Schools. And now most HBCU's are looked at as party schools, Howard has one of the Highest HIV rates, and alot of employers would chose a Harvard Student over an HBCU student although Howard offers an education that would probably surpass that of any Ivy League School.
This disgust me because the point of our schools was not to have the most "poppin" homecoming. it was to learn about our true home and appreciate our culture.
I am in no way trying to offend people who go to HBCU's because there is no place I'd rather be. HBCU's offer some of the best educational programs in the country. But because of the actions of SOME of the people who attend these schools, it has tarnished the name in a sense.
I wish I lived in a place where I was seen as beautiful. Where HBCU's were not known for wild late night parties and getting "fucked up" and having the most naked "bitches" at out homecoming. I wish that we would all wake up.
So I cried.
I cried out of anger
I cried out of dissapointment
I cried out of loneliness
I cried because if even just one of us is still trapped in the binds of mental slavery then we all are.
I cried because every fucking person on my cereal box is white.
I cried because we have been played against each other to the point where we hate ourselves.
I cried because my Nefertiti necklace, my african name, and my discontent with any injustice makes my peers look at me as different or weird.
I cried because more people will comment on a 25 facts note than this note.
I cried because my family accepts children out of wedlock before they do an intelligent lesbian.
I cried because most African Americans still think Jesus looks like their bill collector.
I cried because Malcolm X isnt here.
I cried because people will be offended by this note and not see it for what it really is.
I cried because we no longer rule the most fertile and lush land.
I cried for my children.
I cried for my friends.
I cried for my ex girlfriends.
I cried for my sisters and brothers.
I cried for Africa.
I cried for freedom.
So the young lady I am courting is a wonderful photographer and she did a photographic coverage of the Sean Bell Verdict in Queens, NY. So many of the pictures are moving and capture the raw emotion of all the people this case touched. The last picture of this series is a young black member of the New Black Panther Party leading a chant before a group of protestors. This picture led to me and the person I was on the phone with researching the New Black Panther Party which led to a hidden treasure land of militant intelligent black people. Then while being overwhelmed by this site, BET was showing X, the Malcolm X movie. All these emotions combined led to me in tears, having an extremely wonderful conversation with my suitemates and then to this "blog"....
The first scene of the movie X that was on when I turned on the TV was where he was looking up the definition of "black". this is what it still says to this day:
1 a: of the color black
2 a: having dark skin, hair, and eyes
3: dressed in black
4: dirty , soiled
5 a: characterized by the absence of light
6 a: thoroughly sinister or evil
7: connected with or invoking the supernatural and especially the devil
8 a: very sad, gloomy, or calamitous
9: characterized by hostility or angry discontent
the definition of white says:
1 a: free from color
2 a: being a member of a group or race characterized by light pigmentation of the skin: marked by upright fairness (that's mighty white of you)
3: free from spot or blemish: as a (1): free from moral impurity : innocent
I then looked around my dorm room and nearly every image i saw, from the posters to the cereal boxes, were all covered with white person after white person. From day one we are always taught the the opposite of who we are and what we are is what beatiful is. That our skin, our hair, our noses, lips, and bodies are all ugly. We are constantly bombarded with images of people in successful positions that look different from us And that success for us is Flavor Flav or Soulja Boi. Those should not be our greatest asperations. We should look at these people and shake our heads in shame...
Although I have nothing against the individual white people I know, I would much rather be in a college amongst people that look like me, experienced the same ordeals as I, and that was set up by people who died for me to recieve a top notch education. This was the goal of HBCU's but as we all know, the mental slavery that we are held captive under has made individuals in the past squander the oppurtunities and spit on the intentions and goals of the people who felt that we shouldnt have to get a white education to have a good education.
The goal of Howard was to be the Harvard of African American Schools. And now most HBCU's are looked at as party schools, Howard has one of the Highest HIV rates, and alot of employers would chose a Harvard Student over an HBCU student although Howard offers an education that would probably surpass that of any Ivy League School.
This disgust me because the point of our schools was not to have the most "poppin" homecoming. it was to learn about our true home and appreciate our culture.
I am in no way trying to offend people who go to HBCU's because there is no place I'd rather be. HBCU's offer some of the best educational programs in the country. But because of the actions of SOME of the people who attend these schools, it has tarnished the name in a sense.
I wish I lived in a place where I was seen as beautiful. Where HBCU's were not known for wild late night parties and getting "fucked up" and having the most naked "bitches" at out homecoming. I wish that we would all wake up.
So I cried.
I cried out of anger
I cried out of dissapointment
I cried out of loneliness
I cried because if even just one of us is still trapped in the binds of mental slavery then we all are.
I cried because every fucking person on my cereal box is white.
I cried because we have been played against each other to the point where we hate ourselves.
I cried because my Nefertiti necklace, my african name, and my discontent with any injustice makes my peers look at me as different or weird.
I cried because more people will comment on a 25 facts note than this note.
I cried because my family accepts children out of wedlock before they do an intelligent lesbian.
I cried because most African Americans still think Jesus looks like their bill collector.
I cried because Malcolm X isnt here.
I cried because people will be offended by this note and not see it for what it really is.
I cried because we no longer rule the most fertile and lush land.
I cried for my children.
I cried for my friends.
I cried for my ex girlfriends.
I cried for my sisters and brothers.
I cried for Africa.
I cried for freedom.
Help Me...
So Since I have Such Crazy Dreams
EVERYTIME I sleep,
i figure i'll share them with you all every now and then
and mayb you can give me some insight....
ok so I went to visit my best friend Thandi (bka OUTRAGEOUS) at Morgan State, which was in the Mountains. (evrytime i dream about other colleges theyre alays in the mountains) and as soon as I got there there was a basketball game we had to go to bc thandi was a cheerleader or something. I'm watching all these little kids practice amazing tumbling behind the hoop and im so distracted bc I was wearing the sme thing wore the day b4 and I didnt want this guy (lamar from the choir at my school) to see me that way. I asked the coach could I leave and I go into this Living room type room and there is a talent agency in the next room. My friend Pouris was in the corner levitating and giving everyone advice. and his advice to me was like a proverb about bread or something. All of a sudden Gabrielle Union comes walking up and ask is sum1 in the back. My friend electra is unphased and directs her in the back. Electra then goes on to tell me how she's JacKay's (the mother from sister sister) neice and that i should know bc she looked just like her. I then go into this hotel type room and see a little girl that was flipping relaxed on the bed and i recognize her from wen she was in pre-k at my elemtary school. i walk over to the other side to change clothes and i look over and Thandi's other best friend Maya is sitting on the bed with an amazing outfit but with orange ass hair (like our friend Lay). I leave feeling a bit offput for some reason and head to the bus stop to meet my family. I get on my aunts bus where someone is making popcorn and it starts to smoke. The smoke is overwhelming and we realize its not from the popcorn but that the bus was smoking! we all run off and we end up by Hechinger Mall. We all walk toward Carolina Kitchen in Largo and then I wake up.
any suggestions as to what it may mean?
EVERYTIME I sleep,
i figure i'll share them with you all every now and then
and mayb you can give me some insight....
ok so I went to visit my best friend Thandi (bka OUTRAGEOUS) at Morgan State, which was in the Mountains. (evrytime i dream about other colleges theyre alays in the mountains) and as soon as I got there there was a basketball game we had to go to bc thandi was a cheerleader or something. I'm watching all these little kids practice amazing tumbling behind the hoop and im so distracted bc I was wearing the sme thing wore the day b4 and I didnt want this guy (lamar from the choir at my school) to see me that way. I asked the coach could I leave and I go into this Living room type room and there is a talent agency in the next room. My friend Pouris was in the corner levitating and giving everyone advice. and his advice to me was like a proverb about bread or something. All of a sudden Gabrielle Union comes walking up and ask is sum1 in the back. My friend electra is unphased and directs her in the back. Electra then goes on to tell me how she's JacKay's (the mother from sister sister) neice and that i should know bc she looked just like her. I then go into this hotel type room and see a little girl that was flipping relaxed on the bed and i recognize her from wen she was in pre-k at my elemtary school. i walk over to the other side to change clothes and i look over and Thandi's other best friend Maya is sitting on the bed with an amazing outfit but with orange ass hair (like our friend Lay). I leave feeling a bit offput for some reason and head to the bus stop to meet my family. I get on my aunts bus where someone is making popcorn and it starts to smoke. The smoke is overwhelming and we realize its not from the popcorn but that the bus was smoking! we all run off and we end up by Hechinger Mall. We all walk toward Carolina Kitchen in Largo and then I wake up.
any suggestions as to what it may mean?
Snow
I feel... inspired
but i feel like i have nothing to say.
so i will just write how i've been feeling
but of course crypticly.
Like a Libra and the scales
you both refuse to balance
you refuse to balance
I love you both but
you refuse to balance
say my views are biased
say it
say it after you both say you love me
then you still
will refuse to balance
accountable
you place the weight on the other scale
n never on the center
is it bc the gleam of the gold is so beautiful
that the idea of it being tarnish will tarnish
your own dreams?
make you look like a fool
so i have to sit
and dismiss
the dirt you throw on each other
and not on the center
is it too far fetched
to think
to think
to think
that it could just b gold plated aluminum
and your in the balance
and you refuse to put the blame where it belongs
but im biased right?
but i'm wrong?
no.
i'm sick of the dirt
the disruption
the discord
one accord
to simply place the responsibility where it belongs
self destruction and suicide
yeah i remember that much
both of you
you look for solice
answers
redemptions
and peace in the bottom of the bottle
and you
you fear looking like the fool
that you realize yourself to b
i love you both
but the weight must fall somewhere
and you both refuse to put it where it belongs.
snow
wen it melts
will it reveal our
infedelities?
inadiqucies?
snow
wen its now an inconvience
after the beauty of its falling
after the initial fun of the play
after making snow angels
after the snow ball fight
wen its hard
dark
frozen
and an inconvience
will you still play?
will you blame the sky and you the ground?
will you?
but i feel like i have nothing to say.
so i will just write how i've been feeling
but of course crypticly.
Like a Libra and the scales
you both refuse to balance
you refuse to balance
I love you both but
you refuse to balance
say my views are biased
say it
say it after you both say you love me
then you still
will refuse to balance
accountable
you place the weight on the other scale
n never on the center
is it bc the gleam of the gold is so beautiful
that the idea of it being tarnish will tarnish
your own dreams?
make you look like a fool
so i have to sit
and dismiss
the dirt you throw on each other
and not on the center
is it too far fetched
to think
to think
to think
that it could just b gold plated aluminum
and your in the balance
and you refuse to put the blame where it belongs
but im biased right?
but i'm wrong?
no.
i'm sick of the dirt
the disruption
the discord
one accord
to simply place the responsibility where it belongs
self destruction and suicide
yeah i remember that much
both of you
you look for solice
answers
redemptions
and peace in the bottom of the bottle
and you
you fear looking like the fool
that you realize yourself to b
i love you both
but the weight must fall somewhere
and you both refuse to put it where it belongs.
snow
wen it melts
will it reveal our
infedelities?
inadiqucies?
snow
wen its now an inconvience
after the beauty of its falling
after the initial fun of the play
after making snow angels
after the snow ball fight
wen its hard
dark
frozen
and an inconvience
will you still play?
will you blame the sky and you the ground?
will you?
When I grab youe neck, I touch your soul...
so
im in this place where
i need to do a little soul perging
i probably spelled that wrong
this isnt a poem
or spoken word
or a piece
its just
thoughts n shit
metronomes && words
touch me
again and again
touch me again
touch me
"you need to watch the way you talkin to me yo"
do it
again
close n without
ya kno
i hope i havent lost my soul
metronomes
metronomes
beating like a heart murmur
boom-----beep--beep------booom
do it again
yeah.... like that
i want my soul
i want it in me
lets be one sweety
i've seen it b4
i seen the emptiness behind her eyes
and i pray
i wont emulate it
i admire the callous
cause this love
"is amazing, its amazing, soooo amazing"
cerebral inudations
past situations
tickle it
tickle it
so systemic
stem it
brain stems
my spine
your spine
parabolas
arches
arch
arch your back for me
yeah.... like that
metronome && vocalizers
"system over load"
empty ur load
in my hand
in my nails
in my ears
down my back
mhm
like that
learn
cause im pedigogical with mine shawty
yeah mhm.
illusions and allusions
confusion and contusion
black brown blue purple
orange && blue
E && F
New Turnpikes
Union Road
mannquines that dont even smile
bitch please
gimme 5 g's
look at my d's
n say pz
yeah like that
false farce fallicies
of phallics see
this you n me
has morphed n shit
new options
bring new opposites
fuck
fuck
fuck me
yeah like that.
thyroids overload
thryroids are to blame
"shes a dominatrix super model beauty queen"
killer queen
do your thing baby
do it
parole
my role
ok ok
im done
im freakin my self out.
im in this place where
i need to do a little soul perging
i probably spelled that wrong
this isnt a poem
or spoken word
or a piece
its just
thoughts n shit
metronomes && words
touch me
again and again
touch me again
touch me
"you need to watch the way you talkin to me yo"
do it
again
close n without
ya kno
i hope i havent lost my soul
metronomes
metronomes
beating like a heart murmur
boom-----beep--beep------b
do it again
yeah.... like that
i want my soul
i want it in me
lets be one sweety
i've seen it b4
i seen the emptiness behind her eyes
and i pray
i wont emulate it
i admire the callous
cause this love
"is amazing, its amazing, soooo amazing"
cerebral inudations
past situations
tickle it
tickle it
so systemic
stem it
brain stems
my spine
your spine
parabolas
arches
arch
arch your back for me
yeah.... like that
metronome && vocalizers
"system over load"
empty ur load
in my hand
in my nails
in my ears
down my back
mhm
like that
learn
cause im pedigogical with mine shawty
yeah mhm.
illusions and allusions
confusion and contusion
black brown blue purple
orange && blue
E && F
New Turnpikes
Union Road
mannquines that dont even smile
bitch please
gimme 5 g's
look at my d's
n say pz
yeah like that
false farce fallicies
of phallics see
this you n me
has morphed n shit
new options
bring new opposites
fuck
fuck
fuck me
yeah like that.
thyroids overload
thryroids are to blame
"shes a dominatrix super model beauty queen"
killer queen
do your thing baby
do it
parole
my role
ok ok
im done
im freakin my self out.
Whose Gonna Save Your Soul
This isone of my fave pieces. I spit it at the mocha hut last thursday. Pz.
*sings*
Got some bad news this morn
Which inturn made my day
Wen this person spoke I listened and
All off sudden she had less and less to say.
Ohh how could this be all this time I've lived vicariously
And whose gonna save my soul now.
Whose gonna save my soul now.
How will my story b told now
How will my story ever be told now
Whose gonna save your soul
When her pretty face n slim waist gets old
And the dark n lonley nites get cold
And u realize its not me there to hold
Whose gonna save your soul
When u realize nobody else really gives a fuck
Wen u realize they can't love you bc all they see is a mirage of the person you hope to be
Whose gonna save your soul wen u realize that none of them can really love you cause they don't really know you
But u claim that I don't know you bc you don't know yourself but I'm the only one that knows that
Whose gonna save your soul while your hopping from pretty face to pretty face in attempt to replace the loss of mommy love or the absence of daddies embrace
And yet you still haven't found a way to love yourself.
Whose gonna save your soul wen u realize the all the people who want to can't
And the only person that can doesn't want to
Whose gonna save your soul
*sings*
You made me feel like somebody
Like someone else
Although she was imitated often
All that time I felt like I was bn myself
Is it a shame that someone elses song was totally and completely depended on
Whose gonna save my soul now?
And whose gonna save my soul now?
I wonder if ill live to grow old now
I'm gettn high cause I feel so low now
Whose gonna save her soul
When she's prayn her father aint the daddy
When she's mite be carryng the gift of her own brother but she can't tell her mother cause daddy said it was their secret.
So now at 14 she gotta decide if she's gona keep it
Whose gonna save her soul wen all she wanted for christmas was for her daddy to marry her mother, not so that they'll live in holy matrimony and beautiful ceremonies, jump the broom, live in a house with a white pikit fence a beagle named lassie and wake up to the smell of hot breakfast every morning but so that maybe maybe one nite
He'd stay out of her room and stay out of her womb
Whose gonna save her soul
Wen she's 16 wen she's jumping from man to man to woman to man seeking their attention with sick intentions to fill the void daddy left behind
And in the back of her mind as she thinks whose gonna save my soul we rite her off as just another ghetto hoe
As I'm standing here in this quiet dialogue
Her vagina is doin monologues of false I love yous as alliterated analogies dance in the back of throat of big dicks high chicks and low self esteem
And bc she can't seem to come to grips with who she's become she she
*sings*Gets high cause she feel so loww now
*sings*
It may seem a lil bit selfish cause all I have are the memories. But I never stopped to wonder is it possible u are hurtin worse than me
But still my hunger turns to greed cause wat about wat I neeed
And oh..
Whose gonna save my soul now
And whoooo gonna save my soul now oh I know I'm outta contol
I'm tired enough
I'm hurt enough
I've seen enough
I've cried enough
To lay my own soul down
So whose gonna save your soul?
*sings*
Got some bad news this morn
Which inturn made my day
Wen this person spoke I listened and
All off sudden she had less and less to say.
Ohh how could this be all this time I've lived vicariously
And whose gonna save my soul now.
Whose gonna save my soul now.
How will my story b told now
How will my story ever be told now
Whose gonna save your soul
When her pretty face n slim waist gets old
And the dark n lonley nites get cold
And u realize its not me there to hold
Whose gonna save your soul
When u realize nobody else really gives a fuck
Wen u realize they can't love you bc all they see is a mirage of the person you hope to be
Whose gonna save your soul wen u realize that none of them can really love you cause they don't really know you
But u claim that I don't know you bc you don't know yourself but I'm the only one that knows that
Whose gonna save your soul while your hopping from pretty face to pretty face in attempt to replace the loss of mommy love or the absence of daddies embrace
And yet you still haven't found a way to love yourself.
Whose gonna save your soul wen u realize the all the people who want to can't
And the only person that can doesn't want to
Whose gonna save your soul
*sings*
You made me feel like somebody
Like someone else
Although she was imitated often
All that time I felt like I was bn myself
Is it a shame that someone elses song was totally and completely depended on
Whose gonna save my soul now?
And whose gonna save my soul now?
I wonder if ill live to grow old now
I'm gettn high cause I feel so low now
Whose gonna save her soul
When she's prayn her father aint the daddy
When she's mite be carryng the gift of her own brother but she can't tell her mother cause daddy said it was their secret.
So now at 14 she gotta decide if she's gona keep it
Whose gonna save her soul wen all she wanted for christmas was for her daddy to marry her mother, not so that they'll live in holy matrimony and beautiful ceremonies, jump the broom, live in a house with a white pikit fence a beagle named lassie and wake up to the smell of hot breakfast every morning but so that maybe maybe one nite
He'd stay out of her room and stay out of her womb
Whose gonna save her soul
Wen she's 16 wen she's jumping from man to man to woman to man seeking their attention with sick intentions to fill the void daddy left behind
And in the back of her mind as she thinks whose gonna save my soul we rite her off as just another ghetto hoe
As I'm standing here in this quiet dialogue
Her vagina is doin monologues of false I love yous as alliterated analogies dance in the back of throat of big dicks high chicks and low self esteem
And bc she can't seem to come to grips with who she's become she she
*sings*Gets high cause she feel so loww now
*sings*
It may seem a lil bit selfish cause all I have are the memories. But I never stopped to wonder is it possible u are hurtin worse than me
But still my hunger turns to greed cause wat about wat I neeed
And oh..
Whose gonna save my soul now
And whoooo gonna save my soul now oh I know I'm outta contol
I'm tired enough
I'm hurt enough
I've seen enough
I've cried enough
To lay my own soul down
So whose gonna save your soul?
I envy snakes
because they can shed their skin.
and thats what they do.
they shed wat they look like
where they've been
their scars.
the dirt theyve picked up along the way
and they dont miss it
they dont fight it
they just
let
it
go.
i wish i was a snake.
i wish i could shed all my memories, where ive been, who i've been with.
and not care.
sometimes i just wanna start over. push the reset button.
but not like go back in time. just to
have a differnt now.
to be able to complete relocate, not have my past follow me
love all new people, hate all new people
and be defined by all different sterotypes and foolish expectations
to be talked about in a different language
to have my heart broken by a different asshole
to go sumwhere and people judge me by a whole different appreance
to be sick of all different foods
but still be imani.
the boastful
dramatic
eccentric
passionate
brash
warm-hearted
imani.
is that too much to ask?
the snake is still the snake...
and he as not grown new skin,
just got rid of the old.
dont u want to go?
to just shed your skin.
and b over it.
not miss it
and never look back.
i'm ready to shed this skin
to go.
and start over.
but my past will always haunt me.
my memories will always anchor me to my reality.
and love will keep me here.
in this skin.
and thats what they do.
they shed wat they look like
where they've been
their scars.
the dirt theyve picked up along the way
and they dont miss it
they dont fight it
they just
let
it
go.
i wish i was a snake.
i wish i could shed all my memories, where ive been, who i've been with.
and not care.
sometimes i just wanna start over. push the reset button.
but not like go back in time. just to
have a differnt now.
to be able to complete relocate, not have my past follow me
love all new people, hate all new people
and be defined by all different sterotypes and foolish expectations
to be talked about in a different language
to have my heart broken by a different asshole
to go sumwhere and people judge me by a whole different appreance
to be sick of all different foods
but still be imani.
the boastful
dramatic
eccentric
passionate
brash
warm-hearted
imani.
is that too much to ask?
the snake is still the snake...
and he as not grown new skin,
just got rid of the old.
dont u want to go?
to just shed your skin.
and b over it.
not miss it
and never look back.
i'm ready to shed this skin
to go.
and start over.
but my past will always haunt me.
my memories will always anchor me to my reality.
and love will keep me here.
in this skin.
Ignorance is not Bliss
So last night I put Bantu knots in my hair bc i like the natural curly look and i wore a head wrap over my head "nefertiti style" so that i could keep them in all day. to hold the curl. aside from getting several obvious stares, something really disturbing happened. As I entered my building see my roomates boyfriend, who is white, sitting there and i hug him bc he's a really cool kid. he then proceeds to call me Mother Theresa. I askd why did you call me that? he said bc she wrapped her head. I said not like this, eh then says "who did" i say sarcastically" oh i dont kno nefertiti, erykah badu" and he stops me and said No, aunt jemima did. yes. he said that. I then, speechless, stare at him and say are you serious and he smiles. I say "I'm gonna pretend you didnt say that" I head up to my room, truly astounded that people still asscociate such disguting sterrotypes with black women and go into my room. I then relay the story to my roomate and her friend (who are both black) and they look at me like And? then proceed to call my scarf a slave scarf.
If its not clear I am more than... disgusted with people's comments about traditional african garb. Last time I check nefertiti was NOT a slave but an African queen and Aunt Jemima is no longer displayed with the scarf because of the negative connotations associated with it.
And since the only way to combat ignorance is with knowledge here is somethign for those who dont see what most people know:
The phrase "Aunt Jemima" is sometimes used as a female version of "Uncle Tom" to refer to a black woman who is perceived as obsequiously servile or acting in, or protective of, the interests of whites. The direct inspiration for Aunt Jemima originates from a minstrelsy/vaudeville song of the same name. Chris L. Rutt of the Pearl Milling Company saw the song being sung by blackface performers Baker & Farrell wearing an apron and kerchief, and appropriated the character.
She is depicted as a plump, smiling, bright-eyed, African-American woman, originally wearing a kerchief over her hair. She was represented as a slave and was the most commonplace representation of the stereotypical "mammy" character.
now if you dont kno wat black is or wat a minstrel show was then you need more help than i can give you...
to call a black woman an aunt jemima is offensive, disgusting, and ignorant due to the history about her. She was an illiterate slave who cooked for her master. and the scarf i have on is representative of the crown many african queens wore. So to call that a 'slave scarf' or to associated it with the lowest point of black women (aside from bn a video hoe) is degrading and plain ignorant.
Aunt Jemima wore a scarf because she was taugh tthat her hair was 'dreadful' (hence the term DREADlocks). and to look presentable she had to cover it.
I pray to god that this type of ignorance is unheard of when my children grow up and dont have to deal with racial slurs if they want to be proud and dispay their heritage. and although my mother and i have had our dissagreements, I'm glad she raised me with the knowledge of my past and my history so that i may rise above it and learn to NEVER accept just anything from anyone.
I WILL CONTINUE TO WEAR MY HEAD WRAP. IF YOU CONTINUE TO BE IGNORANT TO YOUR OWN HISTORY AND YOUR OWN PAST THEN DO SO. BUT I WILL NOT BE RIDICULED BECAUSE OF MY HERITAGE!!
If its not clear I am more than... disgusted with people's comments about traditional african garb. Last time I check nefertiti was NOT a slave but an African queen and Aunt Jemima is no longer displayed with the scarf because of the negative connotations associated with it.
And since the only way to combat ignorance is with knowledge here is somethign for those who dont see what most people know:
The phrase "Aunt Jemima" is sometimes used as a female version of "Uncle Tom" to refer to a black woman who is perceived as obsequiously servile or acting in, or protective of, the interests of whites. The direct inspiration for Aunt Jemima originates from a minstrelsy/vaudeville song of the same name. Chris L. Rutt of the Pearl Milling Company saw the song being sung by blackface performers Baker & Farrell wearing an apron and kerchief, and appropriated the character.
She is depicted as a plump, smiling, bright-eyed, African-American woman, originally wearing a kerchief over her hair. She was represented as a slave and was the most commonplace representation of the stereotypical "mammy" character.
now if you dont kno wat black is or wat a minstrel show was then you need more help than i can give you...
to call a black woman an aunt jemima is offensive, disgusting, and ignorant due to the history about her. She was an illiterate slave who cooked for her master. and the scarf i have on is representative of the crown many african queens wore. So to call that a 'slave scarf' or to associated it with the lowest point of black women (aside from bn a video hoe) is degrading and plain ignorant.
Aunt Jemima wore a scarf because she was taugh tthat her hair was 'dreadful' (hence the term DREADlocks). and to look presentable she had to cover it.
I pray to god that this type of ignorance is unheard of when my children grow up and dont have to deal with racial slurs if they want to be proud and dispay their heritage. and although my mother and i have had our dissagreements, I'm glad she raised me with the knowledge of my past and my history so that i may rise above it and learn to NEVER accept just anything from anyone.
I WILL CONTINUE TO WEAR MY HEAD WRAP. IF YOU CONTINUE TO BE IGNORANT TO YOUR OWN HISTORY AND YOUR OWN PAST THEN DO SO. BUT I WILL NOT BE RIDICULED BECAUSE OF MY HERITAGE!!
Let Go
I stumbled across this on downelink. It truly touched me and I just had to share it. it really changed my day and potentially a few lives
"I don’t want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, Caring about you, coming to
see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell
you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to
me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people
to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was
never intended for your life, then you need to……LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…LET IT GO!!!
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…..LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...LET IT GO!!!
If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …..LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need
to…LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things."--[[GoogleT.D. JAKES "LET IT GO" i did not write the above^^^^^^]]
"I don’t want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, Caring about you, coming to
see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell
you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to
me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people
to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was
never intended for your life, then you need to……LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…LET IT GO!!!
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…..LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...LET IT GO!!!
If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …..LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need
to…LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things."--[[GoogleT.D. JAKES "LET IT GO" i did not write the above^^^^^^]]
The white man's education makes me sick
For my friends who have been keeping up,
Im in this class again.
It sickens me that white people teach thier children this bullshit
Last month we discussed European Superiority
now were discussing why Africa fell behind.
In our discussion today the girls are saying that the Africans were shifty and not to be trusted
then another girl says that the European slave trade crippled Africa (finally)
then another girl 'You cant blame it all on Europe, I'm sure there were other factors and that even if the Europeans never came they still would have fallen'
this truly makes me consider placing my children (when I have them) in a mainly Afro-centric school. I dont want them to be taught this shit.
I Just dont understand why we ALWAYS focus on European History. I could even see if the class was European History or even American History. But this is supposed to be "Emergence into Global Society" i wasnt aware that Europe was the global society.
What about Mansa Musa's Haj? The History of the Aztecz, Incas, and Mayan?
I'm sure the caste system in India would be wonderful to learn about or how Japan kept its Isolationist values and kept peace for more than 200 years..
But noooo... Were forced to learn about the industrial revolution
or that in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue
he thought he was gonna fall off the fucking edge of the world
thank god i have a mind to think outside of this shit,
and its so unfortunate that others are blindly 'learning' this shit
ugh
it makes me SICK.
Im in this class again.
It sickens me that white people teach thier children this bullshit
Last month we discussed European Superiority
now were discussing why Africa fell behind.
In our discussion today the girls are saying that the Africans were shifty and not to be trusted
then another girl says that the European slave trade crippled Africa (finally)
then another girl 'You cant blame it all on Europe, I'm sure there were other factors and that even if the Europeans never came they still would have fallen'
this truly makes me consider placing my children (when I have them) in a mainly Afro-centric school. I dont want them to be taught this shit.
I Just dont understand why we ALWAYS focus on European History. I could even see if the class was European History or even American History. But this is supposed to be "Emergence into Global Society" i wasnt aware that Europe was the global society.
What about Mansa Musa's Haj? The History of the Aztecz, Incas, and Mayan?
I'm sure the caste system in India would be wonderful to learn about or how Japan kept its Isolationist values and kept peace for more than 200 years..
But noooo... Were forced to learn about the industrial revolution
or that in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue
he thought he was gonna fall off the fucking edge of the world
thank god i have a mind to think outside of this shit,
and its so unfortunate that others are blindly 'learning' this shit
ugh
it makes me SICK.
The Worst Perfection: July 2008
You are perfection
beauty at its best
and i
am a mere passerby
one more person that gets to stand in awe of ur beauty...
but whose wrong here?
the culprit is one we cannot not see
we cannot touch
cannot control.
One we have all there is
and is still never satisfied.
Time.
Blame him for the matter.
or maybe its a she...
either way I kno that u were are good for me
but time thwarts all chances for a we.
You came too late
or maybe I too soon.
Or maybe its the right place wrong time.
either way... when i look in your eyes
you set me ablaze...
idk how one woman can make a crazy outspoken brazen gal like me
shell up so easily.
but you do.
your like kryptonite.
damn you for being breath takingly beautiful...
damn you for being on my mind.
damn you for me not being able to shake the thoughts of the couldashouldawoulda...
I've been pleasing every inch of you
in my mind again and again since i felt ur embrace on saturday.
is it wrong that I want our wrong to be right?
either way...
you probably think im crazy....
but i needed to get it all out...
mrs.gorgeousness...
wats next?
beauty at its best
and i
am a mere passerby
one more person that gets to stand in awe of ur beauty...
but whose wrong here?
the culprit is one we cannot not see
we cannot touch
cannot control.
One we have all there is
and is still never satisfied.
Time.
Blame him for the matter.
or maybe its a she...
either way I kno that u were are good for me
but time thwarts all chances for a we.
You came too late
or maybe I too soon.
Or maybe its the right place wrong time.
either way... when i look in your eyes
you set me ablaze...
idk how one woman can make a crazy outspoken brazen gal like me
shell up so easily.
but you do.
your like kryptonite.
damn you for being breath takingly beautiful...
damn you for being on my mind.
damn you for me not being able to shake the thoughts of the couldashouldawoulda...
I've been pleasing every inch of you
in my mind again and again since i felt ur embrace on saturday.
is it wrong that I want our wrong to be right?
either way...
you probably think im crazy....
but i needed to get it all out...
mrs.gorgeousness...
wats next?
Losing Love: June 2008
t sucks so hard to lose
someone you love[d]
so much
who knew
everything you never wanted to say
who shared your deepest darkest secrets
have tasted the tears you've tasted
because they felt the pain you did
when she played the games with your heart
when the other she left you
and even when you hated yourself
it sucks so hard
to lose the one
who made you laugh regardless
who never second guessed your crazy plans to be way too grown
who understood ur pointless rambling
who danced to the same silent beats you did
it may suck so hard to lose a "wifey"
but its even worse to lose a bestii
We sang this at my high school graduation:
"its hard to say goodbye
theres so much more we need to share together
its hard to reason why
but we both know this cant go on forever
we have dreams we need to live love we need to give
a brand new set of friends we've yet to find
and now its time to go there's something we all know
it's very hard to say goodbye.
And we know we wont forget
the moments that we spent
the things that made us laugh
and made us cry
and now its time to go
there's something we all know.
its very hard to say goodbye."
iloveyou.
someone you love[d]
so much
who knew
everything you never wanted to say
who shared your deepest darkest secrets
have tasted the tears you've tasted
because they felt the pain you did
when she played the games with your heart
when the other she left you
and even when you hated yourself
it sucks so hard
to lose the one
who made you laugh regardless
who never second guessed your crazy plans to be way too grown
who understood ur pointless rambling
who danced to the same silent beats you did
it may suck so hard to lose a "wifey"
but its even worse to lose a bestii
We sang this at my high school graduation:
"its hard to say goodbye
theres so much more we need to share together
its hard to reason why
but we both know this cant go on forever
we have dreams we need to live love we need to give
a brand new set of friends we've yet to find
and now its time to go there's something we all know
it's very hard to say goodbye.
And we know we wont forget
the moments that we spent
the things that made us laugh
and made us cry
and now its time to go
there's something we all know.
its very hard to say goodbye."
iloveyou.
Fuck me
fuck feelings
fuck emotions
fuck moms
fuck heat
fuck fans
fuck itunes
fuck this
fuck that
fuck your couch
fuck ipods that dnt charge
fuck dsl
fuck insanity
fuck ex's
fuck weight
fuck love
fuck bn[n]love
fuck cell phones
fuck new gfs
fuck tmobile
[[in the ass with a brick.sideways]]
fuck jobs
fuck dads
fuck fathers
fuck jumbo universal remotes
fuck the squigly red line from spell check
fuck animal prints
fuck over stuffed drawers
fuck boobs
fuck you
and most importantly
fuck.me
please?
the end.
fuck emotions
fuck moms
fuck heat
fuck fans
fuck itunes
fuck this
fuck that
fuck your couch
fuck ipods that dnt charge
fuck dsl
fuck insanity
fuck ex's
fuck weight
fuck love
fuck bn[n]love
fuck cell phones
fuck new gfs
fuck tmobile
[[in the ass with a brick.sideways]]
fuck jobs
fuck dads
fuck fathers
fuck jumbo universal remotes
fuck the squigly red line from spell check
fuck animal prints
fuck over stuffed drawers
fuck boobs
fuck you
and most importantly
fuck.me
please?
the end.
Higher Order Existence: April 2009
In my mind there is a thought
a thought that is infinite ever expanding
a thought that can straddle the universe and
laugh at God's Challenges
Beckoning another to come and contest it
This thought has spawned and evolved into many
yet still remained one
many parts to a whole that can never be divided
question of existence
happiness
quixotic endeavors
all course through the veins of this massive thought
which has found a place snugly in the most uncomfortable part of my mind
Creating a Stream of Consciousness
that streams through my pores...
you can almost smell it
it sits behind my brown eyes
and you know it
because its the only time you haven't been able to read me like a reflection
Should i let it pass?
No.
My Soul welcomes it
Maybe this is the meaning of growing up
Scary RIght?
This place this night
Connotations might
Denote its flight
From me to you.
Its bigger than you
than me
than this
It's Kissed Confucius,
Tickled Buddha
Prayed with Mohammed
Answered Jesus
Yet I close my eyes and dare it to flee from me.
This high order existence
Takes Precedence over normal living
bc thats not life
Are you ready?
Lets go.
a thought that is infinite ever expanding
a thought that can straddle the universe and
laugh at God's Challenges
Beckoning another to come and contest it
This thought has spawned and evolved into many
yet still remained one
many parts to a whole that can never be divided
question of existence
happiness
quixotic endeavors
all course through the veins of this massive thought
which has found a place snugly in the most uncomfortable part of my mind
Creating a Stream of Consciousness
that streams through my pores...
you can almost smell it
it sits behind my brown eyes
and you know it
because its the only time you haven't been able to read me like a reflection
Should i let it pass?
No.
My Soul welcomes it
Maybe this is the meaning of growing up
Scary RIght?
This place this night
Connotations might
Denote its flight
From me to you.
Its bigger than you
than me
than this
It's Kissed Confucius,
Tickled Buddha
Prayed with Mohammed
Answered Jesus
Yet I close my eyes and dare it to flee from me.
This high order existence
Takes Precedence over normal living
bc thats not life
Are you ready?
Lets go.
Just one of those day, inspired by jennifer patience: January 2008
its just one of those days
when nothing works out
when both of your parents act fucking stupid
and you look for some sort of reprieve in [[her]] arms
but she doesnt want you
doesnt want to
make you better
like she said she would
its one of those days
when you always end up leaving what you need
and you have so much of what you dont
when no one answers their phones
and the ones that do answer too late
or dont want you either
its one of those days where you feel super fat
where happiness is always dangling in front of you but
elegantly out of reach
where nothing works how its supposed to
when you cant do shit rite
but make other people happy
but not yourself
when you finally find a way home
and your room is in shambles
where everyone is apathetic but you
when bitches decided to get a fucking
conscious
out
of
no
where.
Just fuck it.
fuck today.
fuck tmrw
and quite frankly
fuck you.
im tired.
and i have to clean up.
im empty
but i cant fill the crowded void.
and let me not start on the empty space
thats filled with people.
bc were discussing today.
which sucked by the way.
when nothing works out
when both of your parents act fucking stupid
and you look for some sort of reprieve in [[her]] arms
but she doesnt want you
doesnt want to
make you better
like she said she would
its one of those days
when you always end up leaving what you need
and you have so much of what you dont
when no one answers their phones
and the ones that do answer too late
or dont want you either
its one of those days where you feel super fat
where happiness is always dangling in front of you but
elegantly out of reach
where nothing works how its supposed to
when you cant do shit rite
but make other people happy
but not yourself
when you finally find a way home
and your room is in shambles
where everyone is apathetic but you
when bitches decided to get a fucking
conscious
out
of
no
where.
Just fuck it.
fuck today.
fuck tmrw
and quite frankly
fuck you.
im tired.
and i have to clean up.
im empty
but i cant fill the crowded void.
and let me not start on the empty space
thats filled with people.
bc were discussing today.
which sucked by the way.
Nothing is More Beautiful: November 2007
Earlier today I looked in the mirror and wished i looked different
Maybe more this and less that
I questioned why did I have to have so much this and why is so little of that there
I thought mayb I could get her attention if i had less of this and more of that
Then I realized, That what I was doing was wrong...
Some women these days look at hips and hold them with contempt, forgetting that hips like these carry healthy beautiful children, are the hips of mother Africa, are the hips that bare the load of the future.
some women look at my deep brown eyes with hesitation, forgetting the beautiful mind behind them, the amazing things they have seen, and because they will see themselves in a crystal clear reflection, which is something they cant tolerate.
They hate themselves. Hate the way they look, the way their hair looks, the way the curves move gracefully from here to there, hate their skintones, and in turn, surround themselves with olive skinned hazeled eyed illusions of who they want to be.
Have they forgotten it was our thick lips that gave you your first kiss straight out of the womb?
Have they forgotten it was our hips that carried them?
Have they forgotten it was our brown eyes that offered them a peace that passes understanding?
Have they forgotten it was our warm fleshy bodies that comforted them at nite?
Have they forgotten it was our curly hair that we burned stripped and destroyed for their first grade recitals?
Have you forgotten it was my brown lips that gave you that kiss of realization?
Have you forgotten it was my soft chest that you laid your head upon?
Have you forgotten it was my brown thighs that you reached into?
Have you forgotten it was my brown eyes that made you lose your breath?
Maybe you have.
And we as african women, run out and find the bluest contacts we can find, avoid the sun in the summer so we dont get "black". Diet and excersice to acheive a european slenderness that is not natural to the curves we were endowed with. All so that maybe we can be what they would call beautiful.
I am woman. I am the feeder of the world. The Carrier of your burdens. I am beautiful. I am Africa. In a few years, these hips will carry a 10 lb child, this flesh will offer them safety and security, this chest will suckle them for nourishment, these eyes will gaze into the eyes of my child and this mind will think, this child is beautiful, this round nose will take in the smell of my baby's hair, these lips will kiss my child, this voice will sing them there first lullibi, and these legs will carry them home to Africa where they will grow up to realize they ARE beautiful, and all that they desire is within their grasp.
Now I'm not saying that all women have given up on their African counterparts, but the ones that have not given up keep them at home. And have their trophy on their dashboards. I always make the lazy boy analogy: If you had to sit a chair for say... 6 hours which would you choose? A soft comfortable lazy boy, or a hard metal fold up chair.... well lets weigh the choices.. a lazy boy is warm comfortable plushy soft reclines has a cup holder a remote holder, the works. It cost a lot of money but its worth it... It last forever and you'd kill someone if they sat in you lazy boy. You wont mind much if it gets dirty or a little stuffing showing here and there, and thats because its going to stay in the basement. Only for those who you love to see. The fold up chair is easy to fit in small places, convienient, cheap, something you wouldnt mind taking to the game. You wont really trip if you misplace it bc it looks like all the other chairs around it... and you could get another one..... Catch my drift?
I refuse to accept this treatment and I hope you wont either. We are a beautiful people. Since the day we stepped off the boat we have been the desire of many races hearts. And now more than 200 years later, we are desired by all but our own. Nothing is more beautiful than a black woman. And I love you all.
BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL
pz.
Maybe more this and less that
I questioned why did I have to have so much this and why is so little of that there
I thought mayb I could get her attention if i had less of this and more of that
Then I realized, That what I was doing was wrong...
Some women these days look at hips and hold them with contempt, forgetting that hips like these carry healthy beautiful children, are the hips of mother Africa, are the hips that bare the load of the future.
some women look at my deep brown eyes with hesitation, forgetting the beautiful mind behind them, the amazing things they have seen, and because they will see themselves in a crystal clear reflection, which is something they cant tolerate.
They hate themselves. Hate the way they look, the way their hair looks, the way the curves move gracefully from here to there, hate their skintones, and in turn, surround themselves with olive skinned hazeled eyed illusions of who they want to be.
Have they forgotten it was our thick lips that gave you your first kiss straight out of the womb?
Have they forgotten it was our hips that carried them?
Have they forgotten it was our brown eyes that offered them a peace that passes understanding?
Have they forgotten it was our warm fleshy bodies that comforted them at nite?
Have they forgotten it was our curly hair that we burned stripped and destroyed for their first grade recitals?
Have you forgotten it was my brown lips that gave you that kiss of realization?
Have you forgotten it was my soft chest that you laid your head upon?
Have you forgotten it was my brown thighs that you reached into?
Have you forgotten it was my brown eyes that made you lose your breath?
Maybe you have.
And we as african women, run out and find the bluest contacts we can find, avoid the sun in the summer so we dont get "black". Diet and excersice to acheive a european slenderness that is not natural to the curves we were endowed with. All so that maybe we can be what they would call beautiful.
I am woman. I am the feeder of the world. The Carrier of your burdens. I am beautiful. I am Africa. In a few years, these hips will carry a 10 lb child, this flesh will offer them safety and security, this chest will suckle them for nourishment, these eyes will gaze into the eyes of my child and this mind will think, this child is beautiful, this round nose will take in the smell of my baby's hair, these lips will kiss my child, this voice will sing them there first lullibi, and these legs will carry them home to Africa where they will grow up to realize they ARE beautiful, and all that they desire is within their grasp.
Now I'm not saying that all women have given up on their African counterparts, but the ones that have not given up keep them at home. And have their trophy on their dashboards. I always make the lazy boy analogy: If you had to sit a chair for say... 6 hours which would you choose? A soft comfortable lazy boy, or a hard metal fold up chair.... well lets weigh the choices.. a lazy boy is warm comfortable plushy soft reclines has a cup holder a remote holder, the works. It cost a lot of money but its worth it... It last forever and you'd kill someone if they sat in you lazy boy. You wont mind much if it gets dirty or a little stuffing showing here and there, and thats because its going to stay in the basement. Only for those who you love to see. The fold up chair is easy to fit in small places, convienient, cheap, something you wouldnt mind taking to the game. You wont really trip if you misplace it bc it looks like all the other chairs around it... and you could get another one..... Catch my drift?
I refuse to accept this treatment and I hope you wont either. We are a beautiful people. Since the day we stepped off the boat we have been the desire of many races hearts. And now more than 200 years later, we are desired by all but our own. Nothing is more beautiful than a black woman. And I love you all.
BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL
pz.
Dear Misery: November 2007
Hey there, Where have you been? to be quite honest I dont miss you, but i guess i have no choice but to welcome you back with open arms. Why couldnt you go find company with some one else? Why couldnt you just leave me the fuck alone for one fucking moment? I would never let you fester yourself in my heart, but since your here I guess you'll take your place among the pieces that lay here and there while I try to piece it together, which, thanks to you, will be fucking impossible.... she has a piece, she has a bunch of little pieces, and lord knows how many pieces are here and there. I guess we'll just have to use a little scotch tape to fix that huh?
You make me sick. You sit in the pits of my soul, drain me, exhaust me, and dnt let me fall asleep, so that i'd have to stay up with your sorry ass all night...
But let me stop! I cant be rude to company! But wait isnt the rule if you've been to someones house 3 times your no longer a guest? Well guess what ole Misery ole pal..... youve been here before, show yourself around.
But as much as I may hate you I can say you are dependable. More dependable than anything else right now, especialy more dependable than love's bitch ass... I can always assure you'll be here. Like clockwork. You always hold true to your promises, and live up to your name.... and you do it with such poise.... wow, no other emotion can bring me to the lowest lows like you do... and the way you make me feel like shit on a fat stick, phenom Misery!
See Love I'm a fool to belive in you! Your empty fucking promises... How dare I think you'd stay here? Nothing that can make me, imani, feel so good is bound to stay for long trust me. iknow.And Happiness, please dnt let me get started on THAT bitch... I swear you too have it out for me. See Misery, Love is a fucking tease, she likes to come by dance with you and then leave.. and happiness will always be rite at the tip of my fingers and then hang rite above my head, always out of fucking reach but always visible to remind me of what i wont have....But you Misery, you'll stay... you'll stick around like you always do.
Misery, I'm sorry to be rude but I dont want you to be here. I want you to crawl back into the hell hole you came out of. I'll even deal with Lonelyness's coward ass, but not you. Your like a leach, a parasite, and i want you gone...
But since your here, i guess we can sit on the couch, eat kettle corn, and bad mouth all the other emotions... I'm sure you'll have PLENTY of stories to tell me about Envy, Malice and my girl Lust. As a matter of fact, we'll make it a party! Hey everyone, your invited! See Misery maybe your not that bad... ever since you've been around, I've loved to have company over...
Anyone want to join us? There's plenty of Kettle corn to go around...
ima--- wtf, it doesnt even matter anymore
Ms. Misery...
yeah, thats more like it...
You make me sick. You sit in the pits of my soul, drain me, exhaust me, and dnt let me fall asleep, so that i'd have to stay up with your sorry ass all night...
But let me stop! I cant be rude to company! But wait isnt the rule if you've been to someones house 3 times your no longer a guest? Well guess what ole Misery ole pal..... youve been here before, show yourself around.
But as much as I may hate you I can say you are dependable. More dependable than anything else right now, especialy more dependable than love's bitch ass... I can always assure you'll be here. Like clockwork. You always hold true to your promises, and live up to your name.... and you do it with such poise.... wow, no other emotion can bring me to the lowest lows like you do... and the way you make me feel like shit on a fat stick, phenom Misery!
See Love I'm a fool to belive in you! Your empty fucking promises... How dare I think you'd stay here? Nothing that can make me, imani, feel so good is bound to stay for long trust me. iknow.And Happiness, please dnt let me get started on THAT bitch... I swear you too have it out for me. See Misery, Love is a fucking tease, she likes to come by dance with you and then leave.. and happiness will always be rite at the tip of my fingers and then hang rite above my head, always out of fucking reach but always visible to remind me of what i wont have....But you Misery, you'll stay... you'll stick around like you always do.
Misery, I'm sorry to be rude but I dont want you to be here. I want you to crawl back into the hell hole you came out of. I'll even deal with Lonelyness's coward ass, but not you. Your like a leach, a parasite, and i want you gone...
But since your here, i guess we can sit on the couch, eat kettle corn, and bad mouth all the other emotions... I'm sure you'll have PLENTY of stories to tell me about Envy, Malice and my girl Lust. As a matter of fact, we'll make it a party! Hey everyone, your invited! See Misery maybe your not that bad... ever since you've been around, I've loved to have company over...
Anyone want to join us? There's plenty of Kettle corn to go around...
ima--- wtf, it doesnt even matter anymore
Ms. Misery...
yeah, thats more like it...
I am: October 2007
Alone with everybody.
In a crowded empty room.
Listening to a Deafening silence.
Drowning in Dry Water.
Holding your Hand With a Balled up fist.
Feeling Overwhelemed in a vaccum.
Laying Next to You in an Empty Bed.
Asleep with Open eyes.
Losing a One Person Race.
And You Have the Lead.
Me.She.Herself.Without.
In a crowded empty room.
Listening to a Deafening silence.
Drowning in Dry Water.
Holding your Hand With a Balled up fist.
Feeling Overwhelemed in a vaccum.
Laying Next to You in an Empty Bed.
Asleep with Open eyes.
Losing a One Person Race.
And You Have the Lead.
Me.She.Herself.Without.
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