Porcelain Fairy Tales

Listen to Porcelain by Red Hot Chili Peppers when reading this...

http://www.imeem.com/people/DJGLuHv/video/lVqVG0MG/fullmetal-alchemist-porcelain-mmv-animation-video/


So those who know me well know that I have been going through a really extremely tough time in my life.
and one of my teachers reccomended that I go to the counseling center.
What most people realize is that talking to a therapist is not about them telling you how to fix your problems, but to allow you to speak your problems aloud, and most times you come to your own realizations and your own fixes.
So today once I left there are some things i realized....

I live in a fairy tale world in my mind
I think I'm supposed to have these perfect friendships
and family members
and relationships
but...
it aint gonna happen
I always knew that wat prevented me from becoming a statistic
was my love for books
i always read and read until i fell asleep as a child
and yet that hindered me
because I thought life was supposed to be that way
that no matter what turmoil you went through, there would be a beautiful and happy ending
but its not that way.
Friends fuck your girlfriends.
Moms hate their children.
Girlfriends use you.
Friends turn their backs on you.
People talk about you.
Girlfriends Cheat.
You get excluded.
I'm not experincing any extraordinary amount of unhappiness or misfortune
I'm experiencing life
bc its not a fairy tale.
Now dont get this wrong...
I'm not at all sad, or depressed
I'm actually happy
and I realized that these are things we all have to deal with
and that i need to suck it and realize
their aint no such thing as a fairytale

I'm just glad that I can be the knight in shining armor for some one
that I can be their letter to Hogwarts
or their Genie in a bottle.
maybe me thinking I live in a fairy tale world has taught me to
be a loyal friend
and to be a faithful girl friend
and although there are not many people with good hearts
those of us who do hurt worse,
bc we live in the fairy tale world.
And Maybe, Just maybe, if everyone lived in a fairy tale,
we'd all treat each other better.

I will continue to read my books.
I will continue to be one of the few people I know who have betrayed someone I loved,
I will continue to be siully and trust every person I meet.
i will continue to love completely and fully
&&
I will continue to be hurt by those of you who dont live in my world.

I know I dont live in a Fairy Tale
but
living in a fairly tale makes the good times seem like my happy ending is always near.


Porcelain-- Red Hot Chili Peppers