They dont know you like i do. They'll never know you

Im riding the bus back to ny
listening to paranoid
i love kanye
i love ny
i love these headphones
i love the bolt bus
i love traveling at nite
but not as much as i love you

im sorry i had to leave you. you know why.
I made alot of progress over these months.
I was content with the thought of you being gone for a long time
I learned how to deal with the thinking fits,
I learned how to dial other numbers instead of yours
I was numb
I was good
and i pulled the bandaid off
but you can only form a scab from fresh air
so i welcomed it
and now i go back
you there
i here
i thought i would hurt
but i dnt
theres a void
an emptiness
like waking up and the person who fell asleep beside you wasnt there
but i still see your shoes
you havent gone far

i only wonder things i fear asking you
i wonder do we go back to not speaking?
do we let things be
do we call each other again
does my growth and healing include you in it?
do you need to be gone from me in order for me to be better?
can we continue our lives like the way they were?

*sigh*